The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters

Test space rockets exploding at liftoff and increased reporting of UFO sightings culminate in a direct attempt by alien survivors of a dead, extra-galactic civilization to invade Earth from impervious flying saucers, using ray-weapons of mass destruction.

With their women having been enslaved by a pack of lesbian vampires, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.

Forks, Washington resident Bella Swan is reeling from the departure of her vampire love, Edward Cullen, and finds comfort in her friendship with Jacob Black, a werewolf. But before she knows it, she's thrust into a centuries-old conflict, and her desire to be with Edward at any cost leads her to take greater and greater risks.

The town's landed gentleman and unrepentant vampire Angustia has just feasted on a young female victim and is now pursued by an angry mob of torch-carrying villagers. Cornered in the grounds of his villa, Angustia is staked through the heart with a sharpened cross and left to die alone in agony. With the sound of a howling wolf in the distance, he is tended to by his distraught sweetheart, who removes the cross and buries him underneath it. Being mortal, she is also carrying the vampire's children – twins, one good and one inherently evil – and after her mother is thrown down her stairs by an unseen force (linked to the cobra curled around the vampire's grave marker!), she leaves one of the babies, flees the village with the other child, and heads in a trance directly for the sanctuary of Angustia's villa.

When a 15th-century prince denounces God after the devastating loss of his wife, he inherits an eternal curse: he becomes Dracula. Condemned to wander the centuries, he defies fate and death itself, guided by a single hope — to be reunited with his lost love.